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I sat down next to her, reached around, and pulled her in tight to me. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm doing the best I can," I said leaning my cheek on the top of her head."I know," she sniffled. "This has just been such a hard year, and now with Lance gone we could be going for the weekend somewhere. We should be taking little mini vacations; instead we're stuck here. It's almost like being in prison. I thought debtor's prison was abolished," she scoffed.It's too bad she was looking down when she said that. If she'd been paying attention I'm sure she would have seen the anger in my face. Our house was no prison. Hell, I didn't even want to buy it. I thought it was too big and too expensive, but once she saw it, she just had to have it. Now I'm fighting like hell to keep it and she's calling it a fucking prison. I had a choice; I could either open my mouth and tell her just what I thought of her analogy, or walk away. I chose the latter.Over the next couple of months, things between Lori and. The associate asked, "Where do we start?" She needs undergarments and either pajamas or a nightgown." She's a bit young for a nightgown." You know what I mean." My patience was wearing thin. Frustration at thefutility of someone like me raising a child had set it. "Something otherthan pajamas," I said hoping to move on toward our goal.I wrestled with thoughts of jealousy and joy while watching Amanda andthe associate fill the cart with articles of clothing. It had always beenmy dream to have someone to help me shop and now I had to endure the painof watching the kid who I watched over revel in the joy of acquiring anew wardrobe.As articles of kid undergarments found their way into the cart, I thoughtback to the time when I first purchased lingerie. I guessed at the sizebased on the charts in a catalog. She had someone to measure her. Her fitwould be better than mine had been, and I hated her for it. I had the same feelings as we selected shoes. She got measured, while Ihad to use.
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